Chew on this

It came in the mail the other day.  I was just looking at it again a few moments ago.  And no, it wasn't Publisher's Clearing House so don't ask me for money.  It was a $1,600 estimate.  For teeth.  Not for actual teeth, but for the fixing of teeth.  Rockstar's poor, sad, teeth.  He's had a pretty bad toothache for much longer than is wise I'm afraid.  He's also not a big complainer, but when I noticed he was downing advil like a bag of skittles I knew it must be bad. He actually has really nice 'looking' teeth, but they lack substance.  (think The Real Housewives of Orange County)   So what are we gonna do?  We can't not fix them.  But I've been thinking of what we could do with $1,600 if we didn't have to deal with  his Orange County Housewife teeth. Ready? This is pretty fun.  I need to make it fun ok?

                     YOU COUD BUY:

1.  400 boxes of Froot Loops  (without coupons)

2.  A 1997 grey Ford Taurus with 143,000 miles on Craigslist.  Runs great, little rust.

3.  1,600 bags of Pork Rinds from the dollar store.  Well, really you can buy nearly 1,600 of anything from the dollar store.  I just chose pork rinds because who needs 1,600 tweezers? Duh.

4.  266 packs of Charmin. 400 packs of generic.  But if you're going to spend that kind of money on toilet paper I'd say quality is more important than quantity.

5.  533 McDonalds Happy Meals (with or without the controversial toy)

6.  800 cups of McDonalds coffee (with or without the controversial lawsuit)

7. And my personal favorite:  2 roundtrip tickets to Milan, Italy.  Now that is how you spend $1,600.

But alas, none of these are to be.  That's ok really.  I'll get over it.  You might be wondering why I chose Italy though huh?  Well it was my thinking that with all the soft breadsticks and pasta in Italy, Rockstar could enjoy our trip painfree.  I'm thoughtful like that.