I had to use a public restroom last night at a gas station. One of my top 3 least favorite things to do. I'm wondering if anyone else feels like I do about them? I will use them when absolutely necessary, but I'm kinda scared of them. They just plain old creep me out. I was reminded again last night of this and really started to wonder why? I mean honestly, what's my deal anyway? All I could think of is this list of stuff that goes through my mind everytime I have to use one.
1. The soap. I hate the soap. It always smells like icky cheap band-aids. But I MUST wash my hands so icky cheap band-aids it is.
2. The Bathroom stalls. I know they're supposed to offer privacy...and in fact they do...but to me the gap of space between you and the outside world might as well be the Grand Canyon! I always feel like people might just walk by and strike up a conversation "Oh, hi Jen...didn't know you were in there." "Good thing that space is so huge between the door and the stall or I would never have noticed your new haircut." "Hey, are those new jeans your'e wearing?" AHHH!
3. The toilet paper. How many of you know the old song..."One day at a time....sweet Jesus". It's beautiful. But it's been wrecked for me because now I sing "One sheet at a time". It becomes a power struggle between me and the huge black dispenser with the ginormous rolls of paper bigger than a pizza. Sometimes when I use just the right amount of torque and flex I'll get 3 maybe 4 sheets off that puppy...makes me wanna yell "Ha I won, I won!!!" The part that troubles me is how I feel I have something to prove. To a toilet paper dispenser. Really? (wince)
I have more. But I think for now I'll just share these top 3. Well wait...maybe just one more. You know those auto flushers...the NASA version of all flushers with the motion dectector sensor? Yeah, well I literally jump everytime one of those bad boys takes off. I envision my scarf getting stuck and me getting sucked into the abyss. The thought makes me cringe. Can you even imagine the amount of soap it would take to clean me up then? I'd have icky cheap band aid stench with me for weeks. Wonder if I need therapy?
Love it Jen, let's not forget when the Nasa version flusher fails to work, and the fear of the next person in line seeing your #1 or #2 causes you to do the Electric Slide, the Two Step, or the Hokey Pokey (which style dance you prefer)in front of the dirty toilet!
ReplyDeletejosey and i are laughing so hard i can hardly type....tears....gut ache....the works. he says "i dont' even know what part is the best!" ha! me either! you go Jen! you'll conquer that fear of high powered flushes that go off while you're still on the seat and you get a washing (doubt that smells like band-aids) and spare squares. you crack me up daily! thank you for the joy (and laughter) you bring to my life. u r da best! potty phobia and all!
ReplyDeleteLittle tip for the auto flusher scared people out there.....keep in your purse some small sticky notes. Everytime you go to use the potty, place one over the sensor. Trust me, you and your kids will learn to love sticky notes! ;)
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