It's ironic....don't you think?

I happened to be scrolling through news headlines today online and this caught my eye.  "Catholic Charity Says No to Hooters."  Apparently the Hooter girls were trying to be nice and raise some (eyebrows) money for a cause and there was a bit of an outcry.  I can see that.  Sure.  Hooters and the Pope don't seem to be a good fit.  It was a little ironic..a strange pairing if you will.

 Kind of like PETA at a KFC party,  or a bunch of dentists at a Jolly Rancher convention.  How about a tour of the Hershey Chocolate plant for your weight watchers group?  Or if your'e in AA maybe a trip to Napa Valley?  Have you been having trouble sleeping? Well, come and join our insomniac support group at Starbucks for an espresso.  Here's one...Famous Daves hosts annual Vegetarians picnic. *Meat optional* 

See what I mean?  It's best that people just continue to let Hooter girls stand out for what they do best, and that's offer great food at great prices.  Excuse me, I'm going to go have my veggie plate at Famous Daves now. 




            

I don't understand...

Do you ever find yourself saying "I don't understand...(fill in the blank).  I say this probably as much to myself as I do to those around me.  Granted, there is much in life to be perplexed by.  We are only human afterall and have a very limited capacity to grasp many things of significance.  I mean can anyone fully comprehend the miracle of a baby being conceived and 9 months later there is a perfect person?  A new little human being that will leave it's eternal print on the world. I don't know about you but I don't even attempt to understand with my natural mind how that's even possible. And I was blessed enough to grow three of them in my belly.  But I have to admit, other than eat, sleep and do my best to stay healthy, I really didn't have a whole lot to do with it.  Those three perfectly formed humans that came out of my belly demonstrate God's handiwork at it's best...and so, I sit back and delightfully say "I don't understand...but wow...do I ever marvel."

So, I've just touched on a more serious, monumental type of "I don't understand..." The kind that's deep, philisophical, and mind blowing.  Oh and there are many more of those.  Many things in life confound us and make us scratch our heads.  But I'd like to focus on a few other, shall we say far less monumental ones. 

I don't understand...why they had to bring the alphabet into math.  I mean isn't math about numbers and reading about the alphabet?  I'm all for multi-tasking, but I just don't see what X has to do with anything.

I don't understand...why as soon as I need to use the bathroom I get three urgent voicemails, 2 texts and the UPS man comes to the door. 

I don't understand...what makes a person say "I think I'd like to be a proctologist"

I don't understand...boys wearing skinny jeans. I'm all for fashion, looking good, and liking what you wear.  So maybe the better way to put it is I don't understand WHY anyone thinks skinny jeans look good on boys?  Maybe it's an eye sight issue on my part.  Or an age issue.  My mom never liked those rolled up, pinned at the ankle jeans I wore in the 80's either.

As long as we're on the skinny jean thing....I don't understand why...so many people wear skinny jeans, when they are...well, not skinny.  I think that needs to be a pre-requisite. No offense to anyone, but hey unless your legs actually DO look like straws I think boot cut is the way to go.  No?

I'm still on the jean thing...I don't understand...women who go into the hospital to have their baby and come out two days later wearing their jeans (skinny or not)  buttoned, zipped, and belted.  Not only do I not understand these women I don't like them very much either.  These are the same women that can eat chocolate chip cookies every stinkin day of their lives and go for an ocassional walk.  "I just have a high metabolism."  "It's genetic."  I smile nicely, but inside I'm thinking "Bite me."   Relax, I still love Jesus, He's helping me.  No worries.

I don't understand...why it seemed Alan Greenspan just got to decide what happened everyday with the stock market/ Federal Reserve.  (I know it was,  and is more complex than that) But it just seemed so nonchalant, like he chose the numbers while flipping his lucky quarter.  Maybe that's why they brought the alphabet into math.  Something to do with Greenspan.

I don't understand...how my husband can say "I'm going to put some gas on" when he needs to fill the tank.  That my friends has been an ongoing discussion/argument/debate for 23 years.

I don't understand....how those computer guys can actually find the black screen, type on it, and the next thing you know my computer has the ability to translate Japanese and get live music streamed in from an Australian shopping mall.

I really could go on and on...and maybe I'll come back here one day and share more of these with you.  But I'm expecting a package from UPS so I'm going to run and use the bathroom real quick.

Oh I wish I were an Oscar Mayer...

It's really not funny, and I know it.  It's never funny when people are in trouble.  It's never funny when people do disgusting things.  It's never funny when people need help, therapy, counseling.  It's never funny when someone's actions hurt the people they love.  Never.

So..I KNOW it's not funny....and I do take it seriously.  Having said ALL that...I cannot for the life of me stop humming "Oh I wish were an Oscar Mayer Weiner" when I watch the news.  And, well.. I just may snicker a tad. Still. And then I rebuke myself, feel guilty, tell myself it's not funny....and yet I still can't quite stop the giggles.  The kind of giggles that you get in church.  But hey, I am done with out right boisterous laughter.

It's going to take focus to stop singing that song, and not snort (just a little) everytime we break out the hotdogs to grill this summer.  I know....it's NOT funny. 

And that's all I have to say about that.

Helllllooooo people.....

I'm back.  I've had an extended absence from my blog in April and May....in truth Blogger has been a royal pain in the last few weeks to a month....not posting when I want to post....not allowing me to log in...etc. (So MOM, I have a post for you...just for you that I still need to re-write)  More than that however,  I've been adjusting to a few life changes...a new job, some kid stuff, and some other changes in my responsibilities in general. It kind of put the writing side of my brain in the uncreative ditch. So, today I'm digging out of that ditch and getting back on the road.

So much has happened while I've been away:
Tornadoes, floods, Mother's Day, (mom, see above about your post)  Lindsay Lohan in lock down, graduations, high school reunions, snow melting, YES!,  the rapture, (oh, wait,  that's in October I forgot), Bin Laden took a swim in the ocean,  a royal wedding,  my eldest turned 20, (choke), Egypt, The Masters, Scotty won AI, and Steven Tyler's mouth is still gigantic,  22 bags of 'stuff' to the Goodwill, 10 bags of 'crapola' to the dump (all from our house..sheesh)  Oprah went bye bye,  the MN Twins suck-big-time, Easter, my parent's 43rd anniversary, (way to go parents), Tori Spelling is pregnant, I'm not pregnant,  we got a new car, Trump's ego and hair are now equally scary,  more tornadoes, we caught a mouse in the basement, my hubby is more handsomer, weddings, Dairy Queen re-opened, Memorial Day,  flowers planted, Charlie Sheen went on 'winning' tour, Lady Gaga is still weird, and thankfully God is still the same. 

Some of you have been so encouraging towards me regarding my blog and writing.  Just before my break I started doing a bit of freelancing and Yahoo published a little article of mine.  It wasn't a major thing, but still exciting for me.  I'd like to pursue this avenue more and see where it leads. That anyone would read my musings is very humbling...and I want to say thank you for the support.  I'd also like to ask what you'd like to read?  Is there something you'd like me to write about?   My dad has given me a few ideas recently, and that got me to thinking how I'd love to ask my readers the same thing. 

So fire away...if you have a subject, event, topic, person, that you'd like me to write about let me know.  I'm not claiming to be an expert in any area, but I'd certainly love to hear your ideas and put my spin on them.  Just don't ask me to write about what was in those 10 bags of crapola.  It's top secret, kind of like Donald's hair techniques.

The 'Smells' of Spring

Spring time in Minnesota is supposed to be beautiful.  Fresh air, new grass, clean lovely smells right?  Yeah, well, thus far we've had some plain old stank around here.  Things are thawing for sure...but that's not always such a good thing...

 For the past two weeks or so everytime I'd open my back porch door to go out to the deck or head to  the garage I'd catch a whiff of something kind of unpleasant.  "Kind of unpleasant "really did describe it at first. Not highly offensive, just stinky.   I chalked it up to the sneakers (boy sneakers more specifically) and the steady stream of gym bags we keep out there. (boy gym bags more specifically)  Anyway....I took the gym bags to the deck, and sprayed the shoes, but said smell only seemed to worsen over the next few days.  It went from unpleasant to that  "OH NO,  SOMETHING DIED UNDER THE FREEZER" kind of smell. 

Meanwhile...let me take you to our van. Something was also "kind of unpleasant" in there too.  We are a family of five and we carpool with lots of our extended family to sporting events all year round.  We also carpool with friends and haul kids to church, to camp, to the Y, to Grandmas, to yonder and back. And we eat in there.  Burgers, turkey sandwhiches, granola bars, popcorn, hotdogs, apples, ice cream,  leftover hotdish (in little individual containers) carrot sticks (with ranch in a baggie) you name it we've taken it along on a road trip.  We honestly do clear out our garbage and  try to keep it somewhat decent. But I'll be honest, after an entire basketball season with a van full of  8 people eating hotdish and popcorn it needs a solid two day cleaning.  We did that....it looked sparkly clean....except for that....smell. And just like our porch,  it went from unpleasant to "OH NO, SOMETHING DIED UNDER THE SEAT kind of smell.

Cut to the chase. 

 The porch: A large chunk of ham wrapped in foil, hidden on a shelf.  (the porch serves as a great freezer in the winter)  Obviously I missed this piece of piggy as the warm weather hit.  I apologized profusely to the boy in my house I had been blaming.  Afterall, I was sure he and his gear were the culprit.  (Secretly I was very relieved it wasn't him...I mean,  if you have a kid who smells like rotting pork that's a problem bigger than odor eaters can fix)

The van: Taco Johns.  More specifically a half eaten beef burrito that was still in the wrapper but tucked into the pocket  (deep down in the pocket)  on the back of one of the seats.  Of course NO ONE did it.  It was the "Taco Johns Burrito Bandit" playing a bad joke on us.  I didn't push the issue.  I figure I had already wrongly accused one of my children for  the bad pig,   I wouldn't try and blame anyone for the equally bad beef.  In actuality it could have been one of my many carpooling relatives who left us that present.  And do I really want to start accusing my father in law of such things?


I hope you are all enjoying spring wherever you are...the sights and smells of new grass, new leaves, and birds chirping a new song.  The warm sunshine that greets you on your deck in the morning as you have a cup of coffee...ah...there is nothing like spring.  But, I also give you this Spring  Thaw Warning .......if you start to smell something "unpleasant" don't automatically go blaming your father in law....you might just need to check under the passenger seat for a container of hotdish.     Carry on...and tiptoe through the tulips!!!

Deep Thoughts on Snow by Jen

Whew!  Haven't posted in a while.  Strange how 2 weeks goes by in a blink.  Of course it's not that I haven't thought of some stuff to write, but life just moves too quickly sometimes.  I started a new job in the last 2 weeks...so that's been keeping me very busy.  I'll be working from home for the most part, writing ads, editing/proofing websites for a friend's business.  It's a big task...his business is crazy busy and growing by leaps and bounds.  It's a great opportunity that came knocking at my door and I'm thrilled...and thankful.. God is always so faithful....I love how even when we're not neccesarily looking for something He can just bring it right to us. 

So that's my little life update, but in reality I just wanted to share with you about a four letter word today.  ~SNOW~ I know, I know...the weather...it's a dull topic...talked about WAAAY too much on Facebook and used as conversation filler all the time.  So I won't lament and complain and whine on and on about how much I hate it...about how SICK AND TIRED I am of it...nope I won't do that.  I'm just going to very quickly give you my top 9 reasons why I love snow in April.

Here they are...

~TOP 9 Reasons I LOVE Snow in April~

1. It will melt.

2. It will melt sooner rather than later.

3. I like melting snow.

4. MELT is a much better four letter word than SNOW

5. It's not December snow, so it will melt quicker.

6. April is the rainy month, and that causes snow to melt.

7. I like Patty Melts...and snow melts in April, so that's another good one.

8. Melting snow is better than deep drifts of non-melting snow.

9. I can see brown grass.  And that's becasue the snow is melting.

I know these reasons are complex.  Very deep.  I tend to wax philisophical when I talk about snow, so I hope this isn't over your heads.  But just try and comprehend what I've said.  Meditate on these 9 reasons and see if they speak to you.  Carry them with you in your heart. 

Put away your shovels... have a patty melt.....and celebrate April!!!

A Face for Japan

Yuki Kouki.  I only remember her name because in my mind I thought it rhymed.  If you say it in Japanese I'm not sure it actually would rhyme, but that's how I've always remembered it.  Yuki was my pen pal in the 5th grade.  It was one of those class projects the teacher asked if we'd be interested in.  Even as a young girl I enjoyed writing. Letters, notes, it didn't matter.  I just liked to write.  So what could be more fun than having a pen pal?  I remember the day we had to choose which country our pen pal would be from.  We only had a few choices and I picked Japan because I liked rice.  Seems like a perfectly good reason to an eleven year old right?   It makes me smile now at the depths (or lack of depths) I went to in choosing my country.

I wish I could say that Yuki and I forged a lifelong friendship filled with letters of our childhood antics, our first dates, our graduations, loves, heartbreaks, and so on.  But we didn't.  Yuki and I wrote a handful of letters to each other for about a year.  Her life was starkly different from mine in some ways.  She was an only child living in a city north of Tokyo I think.  I wish I could remember the name.  She lived with her parents, grandparents (and maybe an uncle?) in an apartment.  I remember her mom was a nurse.  Meanwhile, across the globe, I had two younger brothers, lived in an old two story victorian,  in small town, middle America. We had a big backyard and a neighborhood full of kids.  I remember thinking how fun it would be to live with my grandparents...and in an apartment?! Wow...as a kid there was nothing more exciting than that!  Her life seemed almost glamorous to me.  Looking back I wonder how she felt about mine?  Did she ever think about playing in a big back yard with lots of grass, just like I thought about the busy city and the elevator she took every day up to her apartment?  

Even though Yuki and I lived worlds apart we also had some 'eleven year old girl similarities'.  We enjoyed school, and playing piano.  We both hated cats.  (sorry cat lovers)  We were both in love...and I mean real, true LOVE with teen heart throb Shawn Cassidy and even had the same poster hanging in our bedrooms.  I can't tell you how much I wish I could find her letters. She wrote a poem once about our shared love for Shawn and I remember thinking she was nothing short of brilliant!

I loved Twinkies, and she loved these cake things...or pies, I'm not sure, but they were called Choco Shrooms, or Choco Pies. (I had to google to remember) The other day when the earthquake hit and the devastation began it was one of the first things I thought of.  Yuki, and those pies she loved so much.  I know how odd it may seem seem to think of something so trivial in the face of such tragedy.  But then I realized how easy it is to look at the news and see what's going on over there but not feel a real connection to it.  Sure, the footage is horrific. We see the images and hear the heartbreaking stories.  It causes all of us, or at least it should, to pause and reflect on our own lives. To be thankful for all the blessings we have in every moment. 

I wish I could say I thought about Japan and her people often before this tragedy... but I didn't.  I wish I could say I was moved to pray for them before this tragedy...but I wasn't.   I didn't even really think of Yuki very much until this all happened.  But when it did happen, there she was. Yuki, and her love of Choco Pies.  Yuki and her jet black hair and brown eyes.  So opposite of my blond, blue eyed self.  I thought of Yuki in her apartment, where I'm sure she ate rice with her grandparents. 

I wish I knew what became of her, my pen pal friend.  I wonder if she still lives in Japan. And if so, was she was hurt, or even worse?  I'm sure she hasn't given her American pen pal , a single thought in the wake of all that's happened.  But if I could, I would tell her that someone across the world remembers her.  I'd tell her how sorry I am, and  how much I wish I could help her in some way.   I'd cry with her over what's happening to her beautiful country.  I'd remind her what a great poet she was at age eleven and ask if she still likes to write.  I'd ask her if I could say a prayer for her that God would comfort her and give her strength. 

I understand now why thinking of Yuki and her love of pies was not trivial.   It wasn't trivial because Japan is not just some country...some abstract place.... with abstract people....it's full of Yuki's who live in apartments and homes, who are nurses, and ride in elevators, and love Shawn Cassidy.  (I guess now it would be Justin Bieber)  It's a place where families celebrate birthdays, go on vacations, sing songs in the shower and eat rice and Choco Pies. And maybe even Twinkies.  It's a place that I will keep praying for in the weeks and months ahead.   And Yuki, if you are there, I hope you are well and safe.  As well and safe as can be expected I guess.  And I'd like to say thank you for giving me a face for Japan, so I can continue to remember you and your country with compassion,  and even hope for the future.

With Love...Your pen pal,
Jennifer